-The L Word: Dana
for those of you that don’t know, I have anemia. One of the problems with anemia is that instead of simply getting sick, I get deathly ill.
Yesterday I had cysts covering the back of my throat. I was also nauseous, so without getting to detailed, i’ll just say, the acid from the stomach burned my cysts.
The pain was so severe I was rushed to the ER. When I was there, I waited for 2 hours.
There was a 40 year old woman who was sitting on my left. Our situations seemed very similar: We were both in a wheel chair, but shaking from being so cold (even though I had a 100 fever), but spitting into cups to avoid swallowing, and both of us hysterically crying. And I remember looking at her and her looking at me the entire time. I understood her as she understood me.
And I found it extraordinary that for a small moment, the only person I felt understood me was a total stranger.
While I was there, a young girl, about 18, was rushed in from an ambulance. She was screaming out in pain. Her sister walked over and sat by me.
She put her head in her hands and started to weep. When she realized I was watching her she said,
"My sister has limes disease. This is the 4th time shes been in this week."
Some things in life I think we can’t explain.
Some misfortune cannot have a reason for it’s arrival.
but a truth that can be understood, is that all of us feel pain.
Of course, our pains are different.
The sister was crying out of sadness. My mom was crying out of fear.
But what amazes me is how much we feel alone.
Why do we feel so separated from the rest of the world, when the rest of the world is hurting like we are?
We say no one understands, but maybe the reality is that no one knows what kind of pain we’re in.
We all work so hard at masking and hiding what’s hurting us. But that’s the only missing puzzle piece that divides us from those we love.
I was no more important than anyone else in that hospital. So I wasn’t angry that I had to wait 2 hours.
Because that meant that someone with a different kind of pain, somewhere, was getting it taken away.
Someone hurting… just like me.