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If you are hurting or want to help someone that is hurting, click here. May your heart be at peace.
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I ripped open my curtains. Little rain drops pattered against my window blurring the city lights behind it. There was so much uncertainty. So many unanswered questions. Behind every fragile window is a person asking themselves the same question, “Why.”
I exhaled, deciding whether or not to push open the frames and jump out towards the small towers ahead of me. But then a thought came to my head.
My feet carried my towards my old wooden framed desk. I pulled out a small sheet of paper and a ball point pen, then began to write.
I grabbed my coat and ran out my front door with the letter in hand. For some reason I couldn’t pick the right place. It had to be just right. Then it dawned on me. It needed to be where people could think, a place where someone goes to forget about the thought pressing their mind.
My mind wouldn’t stop racing. Today was brighter than most days. I wish I could feel like the sky, but we never seem to be on the same page. Then again, I’m not on the same page as most people. I loved Cameron Park. There was a bit of solace in the little hills and shady trees. I approached the bench that I had taken refuge at so many times before.
Looking out over the park I couldn’t stop missing her. I’d never been to familiar with death until it took Faye. Now death and I know each other all to well.
I began to cry. Crying was something I never allowed myself to do. It started out as a few empty tears, and then my body was shaking. The bench couldn’t keep me still, the hills couldn’t offer me peace, nothing could break or shake remembering her.
I fell to the ground, pressing my face against the concrete. I closed my eyes and begged someone, God, I don’t know someone to bring her back to me.
I think I believed when I opened my eyes I would see her there. Instead I found a way to heal my heart.
There was an envelope tapped to the bottom of the bench. It looked warn but it was protected by a plastic bag. I reached up and pulled it off, then slid the letter out. I began to read.
Dear you,
Life has a funny was of playing out doesn’t it? For some reason we feel we understand it all, and then God decides to show us how little we do know. We can’t change the course of things. We cannot control what sadness is brought, or who we loose. But we can control the heart of things.
I know you feel small. I know you’ve feel you’ve lost. But we’ve all truly won here. We are still living and breathing. I think that’s all that can be expected.
Love is found in simpliest of ways. Those who have found it complicated feel they have to let it go.
I don’t know who you are, and you don’t know who I am. But you never have to let go. Life may slip away, but love is constant.
Always remember… it’s love, that never dies.
-Jessica
I placed the envelop back in the bag and ran home.
I knew what to do, I knew what to write, and I knew where to put it.
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